Pearls Deluxe Burger

Justin: Let me tell you a little story. For my birthday a few years ago, Chels had bought us tickets to see Conan O’Brien at the Masonic Center. The condition was that I pick a place to go to dinner beforehand. I chose Pearl’s Deluxe Burger, only a few blocks down the hill. As we walked up to the place, Chels was convinced that this little hole in the wall burger place would be a let down. I had heard otherwise, but seeing the tiny burgerstand, I also had my doubts. We ate. It was a revelation, at least for me. I remember stepping out and thinking, “what a cool neighborhood?” A few months later, we moved just two blocks away. That’s how good those burgers are. This article is about the Post St. location, not the new one on Market which I’ve yet to try. Here’s the drill: they have fresh gourmet buns delivered daily. They have the absolute best meat, allowing you to upgrade to Buffalo if you’re into that. The menu is simple. Burger’s, toppings, fries, sweet potato fries, a huge variety of milkshakes, soda, your standard burger fare. It’s so damn good though. Sometimes simple is better. The burgers are huge and juicy, and are always hooked up with the quality extras. Unlimited free pickle spears? Check. The shakes are also damn good, but they shorten my lifespan by a few months each time. I most always get the Bomb Burger, an open face chili/cheese burger. I’m also quite down with the “spries” mix of fries and sweet potato fries. Here’s the drill: with more than two or three people, do not plan to eat in. It’s freaking tiny. For bigger groups call in your order ahead and carry out. These burgers are enormous and delicious. They used to be open until 3AM, but those days are sadly over. Pearl’s is cheaper than Denny’s, but clearly superior to a lot of “fancy” restaurant burger’s I’ve experienced in my day. This place has become another one of those “you have to go here” places for people who come to visit us out of town. I might just have to indulge in one of these right now. Conan was awesome, by the way.

Chels: How is it possible that we don't have a review for Pearls yet? Justin and I come here all of the time, and when we're not physically there stuffing our burger loving faces to capacity we're raving about it to anyone who will listen. "Oh you haven't heard of Pearls? Well then let me take you and show you what you've been deprived of your entire life." - and by take you there I completely mean let-you-buy-me-a-burger-because-you're-just-so-grateful-that-I-expanded-your-burger-horizons. Pearl's is located DANGEROUSLY close to my apartment and I find myself coming up with excuses to eat here more and more frequently. "Whats that? It's Thursday?! Well I gotta go to Pearls!" "Whats that now? It's raining?!? Well I should go to Pearls." "WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY?? OBAMA APPROVES OF SAME SEX MARRIAGE?? Well now I'm definitely going to Pearls." I have two burgers that I rotate between. The first, The Prized Pearl, comes with blue cheese crumbles, mushrooms, bacon, and lettuce - hold all that other bells and whistles - I like my burgers like I like my whiskey, DRY. My other staple burger is the Pearls Deluxe with bacon and American cheese (stop judging me, it totally 'real cheese'). Their garlic fries can not be beat. Hands down the best fries in the City. I would horrible, horrible things for those fries. HORRIBLE, so don't ask me, okay fine, I'll do it. If you've got a sweet tooth do not miss out on their shakes, specifically my favorite, Mint Oreo. I just want to dunk my face in a giant vat of this milky, creamy, minty goodness. Hmmm, that gives me an idea ... So, now my reviews done, guess I should, go to Pearl's? **I would answer that rhetorical question, but now my mouth is full of cheeseburger.**